I. M. Not-Clueful
Singer use the faulty view of utilarianism, so he thinks that we maximize our happiness. He says we’re rich and have to give mony to poor nations, and that we have to keep giving until we’re dead. This is completely unreasonable, and I know Singer is wrong. Why? First of all, because he’s just trying to make me feel guilty. What is he doing for world hunger. If he’s not giving, I’m not gonna either.
Jon Lock has a grate view, because he say that I got a propery right, which means if I earn my mony, I can keep it. And do whatever I want with it. Even burn it. If we give mony to those people, wee’ll just end up having to bale them up again, after they have even more kids, and that’s stupid. The starving don’t have a write to my money, I do. I also like what Lock’s said about the state of nature, and how we’re living in that state. Survival of the fittest – cool.
We shouldn’t give them money anyway. We should take Sam Kinison’s suggestion and have them move were the food is! I thought that is hilarous when he did that comedy rootine. If you haven’t seen it, you really should of. Comedians sometimes really know what their talkin about. George Carlin once ask, “Can God build a rock so big that he himself couldn’t lift it.” If that doesn’t make u laugh, nothing will! Anyways, their living in a dessert, and they’res no food there! They need to move to where theres food, and then we can just ignore bleeding heart Singer. Its really they're problem, and not ours. If I want a CD, I should be able to by one and not half to worry about them people. Because life’s to short. To worry about this kind of stuff.
Really, it is probly ethical to give some money to world hunger, because I probly have too much but I still think that Lock is right about propertySinnger makes a sound argument, but I still think he’s wrong.
I hope I have done a good job. Because I wanted to. I probably shouldn’t of tried to write this the nite before it was do. I really don’t know what Singerr is saying, but I hope I have shown that he is wrong. I’m sure you’ll let me know how I did. Because thats your job – you’re a professer.
(End of Paper)
Comments about this “bad” paper, and things to notice:
1. Where do I start? Just kidding. <g>I will start by noting the lack of complete information at the top (for example, there is no "PHI101 MWF 8" (or whatever class the student's in), no date), and no (funny) paper title. It shows that little thought went into the thesis, or what the point of the paper is.
2. There is no introduction to the issue, the views on each side of the issue, no preview of what was to come, or what position the author would be taking in the paper. Also, at the end of the paper (and I use the term loosely here), there is no conclusion in a concluding paragraph, stating what was accomplished in the paper and what was not.
3. Improper formatting: It is single-spaced, which is hard to grade, because I want to try to correct spelling, grammar, and ask questions about what is being conveyed. This shows that the student has not paid attention to the many times that the formatting is referred to, as being definite, and required.
4. There are plenty of grammatical or spelling errors. Sometimes it’s hard to know what the author intends. The author is not clear on the difference between “there,” “their,” and “they’re,” uses “its” when “it’s” is what is called for, writes “should of” instead of “should have,” has many fragments, etc. If you have ANY questions about what a fragment is, or how to use the three “there’s,” please let me know.
5. This paper is nowhere near the minimum number of pages required. Here is my advice: If you start writing your paper two weeks before it is due, I can help you add more information to get your paper to the minimum. This paper would gain pages just from double-spacing and adding an intro and concluding paragraph! From here, let’s analyze the paper paragraph by paragraph:
6. First paragraph, first sentence: The paper starts with an unproved assumption on the author’s part: That utilitarianism (misspelled in the paper) is a faulty theory. Notice how this claim is not proven in the paper. Also, in the first sentence, the author completely misrepresents what the utilitarian holds – the author forgot to add “should,” and that we should maximize happiness for the affected population. This shows that the author has failed to understand utilitarianism, at least in writing, and what is written is what is being graded (not what the author MEANT to write but did not). Second sentence: This is a mischaracterized, inaccurate statement of Singer’s position. He says we have to give to a level of comparable moral significance (see the “good” paper). Third sentence: Avoid using “completely” and stating that some view is just wrong, unless you are 100% sure that the person has said something wrong and you have really shown them to be wrong. Also, saying that you know an ethical position is wrong is a little arrogant, given that we philosophers and ethicists are not all in agreement about which ethical theory is correct yet. Fifth sentence (“First of all . . .”): While the author may feel guilty after reading Singer’s article, without talking to Singer, we have no idea what his intentions are, and nowhere in his article does he write that he is trying to make people feel guilty. Oops (against student Not-Clueful)! Last two sentences: First, the author has failed to put a question mark at the end of the sentence (maddening to a philosopher, who spends a lot of time questioning, no? J). Second, this is a pure ad hominem (against the person) attack – nothing more, nothing less. Notice too that IF Singer IS giving to world hunger, the author has lost the argument, so the author better have more up his sleeve than this (even if attacking Singer weren’t a fallacy, which it is) if she or he wants to show that Singer is wrong. In sum, in the first paragraph, the author has shown that the author has no idea what Singer is saying, is not clear on the issue, and did not learn anything from reading the A Rulebook for Arguments (or, even worse, if the student is in my Philosophy 101 class, he or she failed to understand the second section of the course on fallacies).
7. Second paragraph, first sentence: The author starts off by misspelling the philosopher’s name the author wishes to quote (a pet peeve of mine), and does not cite the page where John Locke says that. In fact, no pages are cited from any works in this paper, and that hurts this paper’s grade as well. Every one of my papers requires citing of sources to a greater or lesser extent. Second & third sentences: This is a fragment; it is not a complete idea or a complete sentence. Attach this fragment to the last sentence and you solve the problem. Fourth sentence: This is a bad argument, because the author assumes that the starving will have more kids, and also that the aid that is given to the starving can only be given in the form of money, and that the helpers cannot have education programs to help out the starving and teach them to live on their own. The author here, as in the first paragraph, is being very unfair to the author’s opponent (Singer, in this case). Fifth sentence: This sentence merely repeats what has already been said, and seeing it the second time does not make it any the more true! Sixth sentence (here we go again): As if it weren’t bad enough to misunderstand Singer, the author shows that the author has failed to understand Locke as well – Locke explicitly says that we do not live in a state of nature, and that the state of nature is a hypothetical example meant to help form his theory about property rights. Ouch! Seventh sentence: Locke says nothing about survival of the fittest, and if this is true for humans, we would need to stop treating people in hospitals, cut off welfare of any kind, pull all troops from everywhere else in the world, etc. So the author is giving an opinion without any argument, and it would be quite difficult to argue for the position the author is apparently trying to defend.
8. Third paragraph, first sentence: Again, the author repeats the point made earlier, as if repeating the point will convince the reader. Second sentence (and most thereafter): The author is bringing up irrelevant points. The author fails to notice that if we moved the people to where the food is, we’d be providing assistance (which is precisely Singer’s argument), and so the author merely shifts the question to, where can these people legally move, and do we not have an obligation to tell them to move or help them to move? It’s a very weak argument and a complete sidetrack, where the author is trying to solve the problem without paying attention to the arguments that have already been made by Locke and Singer. The paragraph ends with two fragments.
9. Fourth paragraph: First, it's all one sentence. This is becoming a common thing these days, for some reason. Get to know what a comma, semi-colon, colon, and period is, and when to use them. I'm not making fun of you if you don't know how to use them - just come and ask me and I will help you until you understand it! Moving on: Yet another major boo-boo! The author has switched sides and is completely unclear about what to think about the issue! Ask yourself, how convinced by any of these sentences would (or should) a reader be? By the way, if you claim an argument is sound, then you have just claimed that it is a good, “correct,” or “right” argument and there is no going back. If you think an argument is wrong, you must use the word, “unsound” to describe it, and give reasons WHY it is wrong.
10. Fifth paragraph: I have actually had students turn in papers with these kinds of comments directed straight to me, and not at the end of the paper, set off from the rest of it, etc. If you want to make these kinds of comments, that’s great, and I love to hear from you. However, you should write some comments meant just for me at the end of your paper on a separate sheet attached to the paper, visit me in my office hours, or call me on the phone and tell me, so these kinds of comments are very obviously not part of your paper.
11. In sum, this paper is full of weak arguments, the author has demonstrated a complete lack of understanding of the issue, the arguments on both sides of the issue, as well as the philosophers involved; the author has not been fair to the author’s opponent, has been inconsistent, has not followed the desired formatting (in many ways!), and has not met the minimum page requirement. So:
12. This is what I would consider to be a failing paper for an introductory class (or a 200 level course for that matter). This is not the only kind of failing paper (or even every kind of mistake that can be made), mind you, but a nice sample of what not to do if you’d like to do well. It shows me (the grader) that the author really does not care too much about the class or doing well. If the author would turn this kind of paper in as a draft, I would have PLENTY of advice for the author (which would not, by the way, include dropping the class, but would include lots of handy hints to help the author do much better). Remember, I am here to help, and I cannot help you if you do not ask.
We are glad to introduce You our database of free Argumentative essay samples. These examples of Argumentative essays are to help you understanding how to write this type of essays.
The leading tone in an argumentative essay is the position of proving that the presented point of view is the correct one and possesses more truthful arguments than any other opinions. The author through proper reasoning, inducting and making conclusions, must prove the assertions or the theories of the argumentative essay. If the author fails to apply the reasons and conclusions to the topic of the essay such essay is considered to be an unsubstantiated opinion.
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Death Penalty for Children
negative effects of television
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Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)
Is money an effective motivator at work
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Alcohol abuse essay: Teenagers Addiction Alcohol addiction is largely featured by general tolerance for alcohol with periodically increasing amounts to achieve the same degree of satisfaction,Alcohol addiction is mostly featured by psychological and physical dependence on daily basis.The need for alcohol is present when a person craves alcohol and cannot limit actual amounts or whenever a drinker enlarges alcohol consumption to feel high.
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Good and Bad Teachers essay Therefore there is much more to a teacher than high professionalism. What makes kids hardly wait until the lesson starts in one cases and hating the subject in others? Of course high professionalism in the field of the taught subject is very important, but when it comes to being a bad or a good teacher this is not the weightiest factor. A good teacher is a person who not just reproduces the knowledge he got.
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